Fear.

As Edgar Allen Poe said, "No person could be less liable than myself to be lef away from severe precincts of truth by the ignes fatui of superstition."

My perspectives has estranged me from any other regular 19 year olds. A contemplative turn of mind enabled me to sense falsities and look at things differently.

A world of uneasy curiosity, much fear and more respect were the most inseparable of companions. Fear has taken possession of my soul, a sensation which will never have a easy solution. I fear futurity itself will offer me no key. I'm not talking about fear of heights or being afraid of the dark, but fear of becoming someone I didn't expect to be. Truth is no one will never be satisfied with regard to the nature of conceptions. Even though fear is indefinite, a new entity is added to my soul. But I will not fail to take what poor advantage lay in my power.