Fear.

As Edgar Allen Poe said, "No person could be less liable than myself to be lef away from severe precincts of truth by the ignes fatui of superstition."

My perspectives has estranged me from any other regular 19 year olds. A contemplative turn of mind enabled me to sense falsities and look at things differently.

A world of uneasy curiosity, much fear and more respect were the most inseparable of companions. Fear has taken possession of my soul, a sensation which will never have a easy solution. I fear futurity itself will offer me no key. I'm not talking about fear of heights or being afraid of the dark, but fear of becoming someone I didn't expect to be. Truth is no one will never be satisfied with regard to the nature of conceptions. Even though fear is indefinite, a new entity is added to my soul. But I will not fail to take what poor advantage lay in my power.

Soldier.

Album of the day

Yeah, so what I was like 3 when this album dropped, but whateverrrrr.

Anyways, Friday night I went to the Brooklyn is Burning party at Alphabeta with my girls and a couple others. I got to admit it was pretty cool, the vibe was good and the performances were really off the hook..The party life I swear, it will never end.

School sucks, I've been late to my Algebra class this past weeks. KUDOS to the people who celebrate Roshashana because Monday-Wednesday we have no classes.

Presumably I will be working on those days off from school but hey as Biggie said, "commence to ass kickin".

Hangovers.

So it was quite an interesting Wednesday night I must say.

After a long day of work folding shirts and hanging up jackets I can't even reach, Ana invited me to one of our old classmate from high school birthday party. So, there I go relentless to have a couple shots so I can feel nice for bed. I was certainly wrong, lol after about 4 shots, grabbed 3 beers and had a couple hits of some buddha I started to feel the room spinning. I must admit I was feeling great making Ana, Remy and Lansky laugh at my dumb ass.

Then I realized that I didn't eat prior to the drinkage fest, then damn..I throw up (as usual) about 5 times, Ana took me home ran upstairs to throw up again then the next thing I know I wake up getting off the floor in my bathroom with my jacket still on, my messenger bag around my shoulder and my hair all over my face..Yes, I fell asleep in my bathroom after throwing up. Sighs, yeah so it was a crazy night.


Woke up with a hangover, my head pounding, liquor is definetely my number one nemesis. I think I will quit for a while. But I did enjoy myself, thanks Ana ! Cannot wait till tommorow for this loft party/lounge ! =D

till again, peace!

oh yeah by the way..BAMMM. =D

Aftermath.

Decided to blog for the satisfaction of actually doing something productive while I wait for my next class at 2:30. While I was meandering around the city trying to find something to do before I had to go to work, I realized that life is depreciated. It's ridiculous how many people walk in and out of these high end stores and spend immense amount of money for some Prada shoes or a Fendi bag, those are all lovely things I must say. I may sound ironic right now (but don't judge me by my pictures!) but I don't need to walk the streets with a Gucci bag or loafers, I am proud to walk in my size 3Y Van skippys I got at Beacons Closet for ten bucks. Life isn't about the labels and lines, in my opinion your worth shouldn't be determined by the price of your clothes. I'm rich at heart baby, believe that.

So, the aftermath. Working 2 jobs and being a full-time college student is quite the burden on my shoulders. Two jobs are really nonessential right now, but I love being productive rather than staying home on a Tuesday night watching Will & Grace or King of the Hill. After this whole summer, I realized this year could have been better if I had some sense. At one point at the end of the summer, I started to feel like a burn out, yes I smoke ciggs and weed, but not a pothead burn out..per say.

It was more of a inside feeling, waking up worried or stressed because of work, school, and my prior relationship. I wanted to wake up to a new day, ecstatic for another adventure to begin but so much was on my mind at night I couldn't even think right. Maybe it's the mistakes I've made this year or how I didn't hold back when I knew I should've. But that's how we grow into better people, learning from your mistakes, taking it in and embracing the fact that life isn't ending right now. One chapter ends, one chapter unfolds. I realized that I shouldn't dwell on my past because it governs a negative future. I gained out of this whole year from what we had was a great experience. Life has it's come and go's, I'm ready to take my heart off my sleeve and start a new adventure.

Comeback.

My week has been actually pretty fun, besides last friday when I got drunk with my sisters. I ended up passing out in the middle of times square, I should get a dap for that. Witness the pictures.




Yesterday was the Sole Collector photoshoot and it was a day off so I figured why not show up and see good ol' faces again. Hopefully, my individual shot gets into the next issue, if so this will be my 4th issue ! (No cocky-ness)

The newbie speaks.

Well, I decided to make a blog because everyone has one thought I might join in =] I might write some interesting things If I'm in the mood. Seeeyah